Not DEAD But "Dead"

Here I stand looking through the glass window as my best friend since the previous summer, ex boyfriend, and ex manager lie in the hospital bed. He said it was going to happen and the saddest part I told him he was crazy and stopped speaking to him for months at a time.

And then at the same time, this is all of a joke. He isn't really hurt at all. It isn't this picture I have depicted in my head of this frail man hooked up to fifteen and counting monitors with nurses and doctors surrounding him. No, that is just an illusion he has sucked me into. The ambulance didn't really carry him off and he isn't in the ICU of the local hospital.

In a matter of ten instant messages and texts between two phones, I was able to lose one friend. One person I could never, no matter how much I know God wants me too, accept their apology. The tears and guilt over nothing, the anger overwhelmingly spilling and staining my frozen cheeks. I am the village person that fell for the fake wolf alarm. And he is now the boy who cried wolf.

I'm bubbling over with hatred of him and could never take him back. To find out he was only bored. Only wanted to prank a friend and now he's lost me. And to find he roped someone else in it only makes it worse. And all because he couldn't find a different way to entertain himself in a way that wasn't kidding with his near death experience. He may not be dead, yet because of this one lie, this one overwhelming and quote unquote harmless prank, he is to me.